Day 3-First sign of difficulties

I woke up this morning quite well, although more tired than yesterday. However, I still took my dog max out for a run and that energised me temporarily, but this was not to last..

When I got home, panting for my breath, I plunged on to the sofa to catch my breath. It must have taken me around 5 minutes to truly come back to normal, but I noticed as I caught more of my breath, the more tired I got. Despite this, I continued through the day and began my first piece of work of reading and highlighting Frankenstein. Since I felt tired, I thought it would be a good idea to read and listen to the audio book of Frankenstein in bed since it would be more comfortable than sitting by the kitchen table (my usual location of labour) Oh how I was completely wrong. The moment I sat down, my left shoulder and left wrist started pulsating with pain, and it fatigued me. Eventually, after much struggles, I fell asleep, to wake up again and finally get out of bed at around 10:30 For me, this felt like a defeat. I had promised myself I would wake up early and get work done, but I had allowed my

self to fall asleep, and at that point I felt like I had wasted half of the day. Nevertheless, after a quick pep talk from myself, I came back to strength and had started some chemistry revision on the flame tests, tests for positive ions, and halide ions by 11. The progress I made (being able to remember every test and also creating revision flash cards on them) gave me great confidence to push through the rest of the day, and assured me that falling asleep was not a defeat, just a slight setback.

I felt like I could have improved today by creating another schedule like I did for yesterday, but I was so tired last night that I just simply couldn’t be bothered and decided the extra sleep was too badly needed, especially considering I would have to be up for 6 the next day. Again tonight, for tomorrow, I haven’t created a schedule, and so I guess I will have to see how it goes. If tomorrow feels as unorganised as today felt, I will create a schedule that will apply to every day. In this case, I will have all of the timings noted down to keep me on track and to make sure I am making progress and then I can do the simple task of choosing which work to do the night before instead of having to construct a completely new schedule every night; not only is it tedious, it’s inefficient.

I’m laying in bed now, writing this blog, and something has just popped in to my head. Everyday, I aim to read 3 chapters of Frankenstein so that I am scheduled to finish the book by Tuesday. It now occurs to me that I only read 2 chapters today, as I allowed myself to play Black ops 2, which has just become backwards compatible for Xbox One. Although looking back I’m slightly disappointed in myself, I’m not going to let it get to me, and I WILL read 4 chapters tomorrow. It might take an hour or so but I need to start realising if I don’t do work one night I must do it the next. As I’m in year 11, my first GCSE exam is in precisely 4 weeks and 4 days. To some of you that might seem quite a long time, but to me, that is incredibly scary.

I have incredibly large dreams, and equally high expectations of myself; I’m my own biggest critic and although sometimes it’s good for me it is also self-detrimental. Tonight I felt my first dose of real stress. Heart in the mouth stuff, butterflies in the stomach. It scares me. Honestly, I’m scared. I want to do so well but don’t know if I can. If anyone reading this has been through the exam process, please don’t hesitate to comment and tell me any advice. I just need to remain calm but, as you can imagine, with some of the biggest exams of my life coming up, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried. What if I don’t do well? Although my main plan isn’t to go down the academic route and get an office job, I’d like to know I have a backup plan which consists of good grades. One of my inspirations in this case is Vikkstar123. For any of you who don’t know who he is, he is a youtuber. He followed his dream of becoming a full-time youtuber, but at the same time, he got straight As and A*s which he can fall back on anytime YouTube dies down. Even though he probably wouldn’t need to, considering he would be a millionaire by this point, in this one life that I have, I would like to know that I did well..

Anyway, I wake up tomorrow with a clear mind, and another chance to get it right. Today was good, but not perfect. In these coming weeks, I strive to do everything in my power to fulfill my potential. I will not let anything get in my way; I need to prioritize now. I spent way too much time today playing Black ops 3. A game, a waste of time, that is not going to help me progress in any way. I was seriously considering packing away my Xbox for this exam period, but everyone has told me not to because I need to be able to relax. On the other hand, I really need to be able to rely on the fact I am able to control how much I go on it. In such crucial times, I can’t afford to be having 8 hour xbox sessions. I’m not saying I had one of those today, I’m just saying that I don’t know if I can trust myself to not have them in the future, especially with the added stresses I’m going to have.

In whatever case, I hope anyone reading this has had a great day, and if you didn’t, why didn’t you? and what could you have done to make it a great day? We only get each day once, and if we could learn from every bad day, we could significantly increase the number of our good days. Tomorrow, I implore you to do something truly generous to someone. Expect nothing in return, other than the good karma it will bring you, and the hope that one day, in your time of need, you can also have the helping hand.

Good luck all

Peace

Pat

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